Top Chef. Season 3. Miami. Chopping Block 3.

June 29, 2007

Miami Skyline

Guest JudgeAlfred Portale, Gotham Bar and Grill, New York City, NY
Quick Fire WinnerBrian Malarkey, The Oceanaire Seafood Room, San Diego, CA
Challenge WinnerHowie Kleinberg, The Food Gang, Surfside, FL
EliminatedMicah Edelstein, The Wandering Chef Caterers, Boca Raton, FL

Hung fishing

In our 3rd installment from South Beach, we discover that Hung truly is the doushebag we thought he was. During the Quick Fire, he digs into the shellfish tank like a 5-year old, after screaming, “Yes!” when a shellfish theme was determined. Fascinating stuff.

Passive Lia

Next week, Tom places them into teams and Hung’s attitude will finally affect others’ performances, namely Lia. She is a passive Tiffani from Season 1 without the skill or the switch-hitting. Sucks for her as she was my prediction to be chopped this week. We’ll get her next week though when Hung throws her under the bus.

Malarkey

In the Quick Fire Challenge, Malarkey retains his reign after proclaiming the shame he would endure from the homies if defeated. This is usually a little Bravo chicanery, but this time it doesn’t prevail.

Tom eventually yanks him on to the chopping block with the other losers, questioning whether he can handle his meat…a question we all have pondered i presume.

Micah Rock and Chisel

We also see Micah spaz out on the conch shells, the same way I would, appearing to finally penetrate one with a rock and chisel. Very innovative of you dear. Don’t let the pressure get to you or anything. Unfortunately, the pressure has apparently already changed her accent in a recent story.

Howie Elimination Winner 3

So, the Elimination Challenge featured reinvention skills of high-cholesterol dishes into low-cholesterol dishes. In reverse order of the Quick Fire, they selected from an array of classic meals. Tom wanted to see passion from the contestants in this challenge for they could really show what they were about.

Alfred Portale

The judges were not impressed at all. Other than Howie’s Fennel Crusted Pork Chops, we could see the judges questioning the actual talent of this season’s chefs.

Ultimately, Micah is eliminated by her inedible meatloaf. But this is a great moment in Top Chef history. Now, we will be able to focus on more important aspects like Camille and Casey. Alas, we have two attractive contestants that we actually would like to see naked.

Camille and Casey

Hopefully, Top Chef can get the recognition it deserves for being the outstanding show that it is. Then, we can get Casey and Camille the recognition they deserve with some scandalous pictures passed around the internet when they lose.

Camille Becerra

Casey Thompson

For now, this is all I could uncover. It will have to do until the ex-boyfriends and scavengers surface with the incriminating pictures and video.

Until then, another exciting episode permeates.

Miami

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Top Chef. Season 3. Miami. Chopping Block 2.

June 21, 2007

Miami Beach, FL 

Guest Judge:  Norman Van Aken, Norman’s Restaurant
Quick Fire Winner: Hung HuynhGuy Savoy, Las Vegas, NV
Challenge Winner: Brian MalarkeyThe Oceanaire Seafood Room, San Diego, CA
Eliminated: Sandee BirdsongTantra, Miami Beach, FL

What a great episode! Hung is still the front-runner obviously after crushing everyone in the Quick Fire Challenge. Although he is gracious, I can see how this guy is going to rattle some cages in the coming weeks with his immaturity.

But, Tom admires Hung’s skills in the same way he did Harold’s from Season One. I think Tom sees something special in Hung and already knows a new great chef is about to emerge. 

The elimination challenge featured Brian’s “Chino Latino“, which represented the soul of the continuing upscale, Miami BBQ challenge concept. Tom appreciated the spirit of the dish but noted seafood sausage wasn’t anything new.

It also featured Sandee, her blonde Sonic the Hedgehog dome, and her non-BBQ poached lobster that she felt was adequate. Padma, Tom, Gail, and Norman did not. Sandee even bolstered a mini-ego-based-tirade right before they disagreed completely with her and chopped her off. Tom was not having it,

“By her own admission, Sandee didn’t truly barbecue her dish. In her effort to go in a different direction than the others, she poached her lobster.”

This is the indirect way of saying, “Not in my house.” That’s why we love you Tom. A class act all the way.

Sandee Birdsong

I will begin analyzing the characters (contestants) next week when we get a little more realistic information. Oh, and we’ll have the characters in the hot tub. Although I saw hints of the Real World from those excerpts, it will be nice to see which ladies cook AND eat the food.

 In the meantime, here is the bonus footage

Don’t Rob Old Women

June 16, 2007

Apparently, you shouldn’t try to rob an old woman in Central Athens

A Lowe Down Dirty Shame

June 16, 2007

derek lowe 

Last night, Derek Lowe was masterful in a career-high, 11-strikeout performance against the AL West leading Angels. Over seven solid innings, he allowed one run and four hits leading the Dodgers to a 2-1 victory and sole possession of first in the NL West.

Alyssa 

We all know Dodger fan was there and loved every second of it. Humbly, Lowe had this to say:

“I think my experience pitching in the American League for so many years definitely helps in Interleague play. You’ve got to go right at American League teams because these guys are potent hitters — especially when they get into pitcher’s counts. If you look at all the strikeouts, none were looking. So it wasn’t like I had strikeout stuff. It happens by accident.”

Everyone remembers Lowe’s effort for RSN in 2005. But, here we have RSN as tops in the Bigs and the Dodgers most likely right behind them by Monday.

It’s not such a bad deal though if the Red Sox now have Beckett, Schilling, and Dice K, and Lowe gets to pitch in Dodger Stadium. Seems as though everyone has made out like bandits in the remnants of one of sports’ greatest stories ever told.

NL West Heats Up

June 14, 2007

Who would have thought the best two teams in the NL would be the Padres and the Dodgers?

Brad Penny and Jake Peavy dominated as their respective teams maintained best in breed status. The problem is they both compete in the NL West and will beat each other up down the stretch.

But, Penny certainly impressed Dodger fan last night after a sweep of the NL East leaders. By issuing no free passes over seven innings for the second consecutive time, Penny confused these paper champions all night long. He stated,

“I thought I threw the ball pretty well. I had no walks, so I’ll take that every time. That’s a great [Mets] lineup. It’s probably one of the toughest lineups in baseball, so it was nice for this team to sweep them.”

Penny’s 97 mph strike out of Shawn Green at the end of the third inning was his fastest pitch all night. Rather than heading directly to the dugout, Penny confronted Green about stealing signs in the first inning. Green acted bewildered, and the Mets followed suit as Penny mowed the rest of them down too.

Penny lowered his ERA to 2.18, the second-best mark in the NL to Jake Peavy’s 1.82. Just three hours earlier though, Peavy was preparing for excellence too. The Devil Rays pounded the Padres for 11 runs the night before, a result Peavy had no interest in replicating.

But, before he could even throw a pitch, the Padres had mounted a five-run first inning lead.

“My job is easy when you have to give up nine to lose,” Peavy said. “We just wanted to be aggressive early and slam the door and not let them have any life. They come back and score a few runs, they feel they can chip away at the lead, but we kept them off the board.”

You sure did. Peavy only needed one of those runs. Over seven innings, he allowed only two hits, struck out eight, and lowered his road ERA to 0.87.

So, now we have a tie atop the NL West with the Dodgers off today, and the Padres facing Tampa Bay in an early contest. At least we’ll have a division leader before the Dodgers face the Angels this weekend, and San Diego entertains Chicago.

San Diego and L.A. both pitch in pitcher-friendly parks and have assembled quality staffs. I like the Dodgers because of the young talent like James Loney, Matt Kemp, and Chad Billingsley that they have brought up to help the cause. Russell Martin is exceptional on both sides of the plate and their bullpen is stingy. This is all reminiscent of the 2003 Marlins.

It’s a new Dodger Blue in 2007.

What a Nut!

June 13, 2007

Ok, this could be my worst nightmare. Some people are just nuts!

Top Chef. Season 3. Miami.

June 13, 2007

Top Chef returns for Bravo’s third installment of its hit reality TV show. The all-new season premieres tonight, June 13 10/9c and features judges Tom Colicchio, Padma Lakshmi, Gail Simmons, and Ted Allen. Bravo has done a really nice job with Top Chef and its appeal branches down from Colicchio. He is not only a pioneer, but the cast members always show him the utmost respect. He has a heart of gold and really tries to teach these chefs to get better at their craft.

Tom Colicchio

The contestants want to win the competition obviously but are more vindictive than most. From burner manipulation to snide degradation of one another’s culinary background, this show packs a punch. And now with some added Miami sizzle, Bravo might have something very special brewing. I watch very little TV but will certainly have this series set for TiVo.

Miami Beach

Here is a taste of Padma and the 4-Star All-Stars that premiered last week…early predictions are encouraged…

A New Dodger Blue

June 13, 2007

Hong-Chih Kuo

After hearing of the lowly Devil Rays 11-4 drubbing of San Diego, the Dodger faithful elevated Hong-Chih Kuo to a brilliant 89 pitch performance. Kuo allowed only one run over seven innings after capping off a 3-pitch, 3-home run inning that allowed Dodger fan to never look back. Saito returned for a flawless ninth and setup a weird 3-way tie in the NL West. But, this was not the only good news.

Victoria Beckham

The Dodgers benched Nomar two days in a row on Monday for recently called up James Loney. Apparently, Nomar was hobknobbing with Victoria Beckham on Sunday rather than actually hitting baseballs anywhere.

This would be a great spy technique for the Padres, for instance, if it was actually helping them. Fortunately, James Loney is ridiculous and Nomar is only 5 for his last 30, so it works out. I predict the outcome of this series and the weekend tilt with the Angels will dictate their confidence for the rest of the season.

Chicks Dig the Long Ball

June 12, 2007

After Curt Schilling and RSN flirted with history just 5 days ago, Detroit’s Justin Verlander hurls the second No-No of the 2007 season. While striking out 12 batters, the 24-year old hoodwinked the Central-leading Brewers all night long in 112 pitches. This is mastery of one’s art and serves as a pleasant surprise in an era when chicks still dig the long ball.

In other news, the pathetic Phillies seem to be rolling behind Cole Hamels‘ ninth win of the season and the return of the people’s champ. I can’t imagine that it lasts for they are still the Phils. But, they are only 3.5 games back of the struggling Mets, who trail Dodger fan 3-1 as we speak. It’s early still, but only the Red Sox look formiddable.

Monkey Sex

June 5, 2007

I love this video! Is it so wrong to enjoy monkey sex? They obviously do…

I say this because I was somewhat injured having monkey sex the other day, but if i’m goin’ down, this is the way i want to go down…the truth is that its kinda hot, because everytime i think of why i’m injured, i remember why i’m injured…it just seems like yet another way of how the greatest mack of all constantly reminds us of sex…such ultimate wisdom…